Monday, November 7, 2011

A Letter to Myself

Dear Greta,

The last 20 weeks have flown by, and you have been challenged in ways you never even imagined. Who knew that a little 7 pound, 5 oz bundle could change your life so much in such a short amount of time.

There have been high highs and low lows. You are blessed to have your own mom, and a circle of moms around you that helped you get through the tough times and celebrate the good times. I'd like to tell you the hardest part of parenting is behind you, but my guess is it doesn't ever get 'easy'.

As you go back to work, remember that going back to work doesn't make you a bad parent. That looking forward to going back a little doesn't make you bad parent either. And that feeling desperate to stay home for just a few more weeks even though you are kind of interested in going back to work doesn't make you crazy.

It makes you normal. This is your new normal. The balancing act of work and family. Finding happiness at maybe not being as good as you want to at everything and maybe leaving some things undone, unfinished, incomplete.

No matter what your new normal is, do not forget this:
- You have an amazing husband, who loves Matilda so much, and does so much for you. Find time for the two of you. Which means you NEED to find a babysitter.
- who you were before Matilda. Find a way to reconnect with friends, and do things that you liked to do before you were a family of 3. Even if it is just once a month.
- Matilda will be fine at daycare. You know this child loves to be around people. Daycare = people = happiness. Yes, she will get sick. She will probably have some bad nights. But that doesn't mean she will never sleep through the night again. And it doesn't make you a bad parent for sending her to daycare.
- Bask in the babydom of Matilda. The little snuggles. Coos. Babbles. Milestones. Quiet stares. And embrace the cries. The fuss. The 'particularity' of Tillie. This time is fleeting.

Do not look back about everything you 'wanted to', 'should have' or 'could have' gotten done on maternity leave. Do not dwell on if you enjoyed it enough, if you truly savored every moment you could have of Matilda.

This is the start of a new chapter in your family. And it will be good.

P.S. You will cry on the first day of work, first day of daycare, and probably the next 10 days of work at different times of the day. And that...is okay.

6 comments:

wisco said...

I think you have it figured out. You are doing great. Matilda is and will be an awesome young lady. Not because you stayed home with her or because you went back to work - but because you are her parents. You will cry when you take her to daycare and #1)she cries because she doesn't want to stay & play and #2) she doesn't cry because she wants to stay and play. Enjoy it all.

Anonymous said...

Looks like you got it Gert....!!! It always works out!
dad

Nate Hanson said...

Well this is embarassing... cry at work! I am so proud of you Greta, you have done an ahmazing job staying home with Tillie. You, her and I are all learned great life lessons these last few months, and I for one am so excited for everything yet to come in our lives!

Anonymous said...

Hey this letter is just like Bill and Teds Excellant Adventure...
Uncle Todd

ps....DUCK!!!

Anonymous said...

You are a Great Team and T-Monster is lucky to have such great parents. That is....Terrific, Ticklish Toed, tiny Til Monster.
Love Grandma

H.Maxwell said...

You will appreciate this letter when Tillie reads this blog in about 7 years or sooner :) T-Monster will be all embarrassed and be like Moooooooooommmmm.

Also Monster-T is getting really close to Mr.T and he was pretty BA. :)

I'm glad you're taking things in stride and by in stride I mean with the crying and all. It can't be easy!