Wednesday, October 12, 2011

To Leave or Not to Leave

That is the very very difficult question.

And one I have been grappling with ever since Nate and I booked a vacation to Hawaii. Do we bring Matilda or leave Matilda?

I am sure MANY people out there have MANY opinions on this, but the bottom line is that Nate and I need this time.

For ourselves. For US. To reconnect. Prepare for my return to work. Charge our batteries back to 100%.

While I am sure people can connect the dots from my posts the last 4 months, new parenthood has not been super easy for us. It has felt like the hits keep on coming from reflux, to food allergies, to extreme sleep regression--we just can't get our feet under us.

I had a picture of our lives as a family of 3, and that picture is still out of focus. It is getting clearer as Matilda gets older, but the reality is that it has been extremely hard. Exhausting. Emotional. Seemlingly impossible at times. And yes, I know that parenthood is hard. And yes, I know that we will never sleep like we used to. But getting up 5-10 times in an 8 hour night for 6 weeks straight (once the child is almost 3 months old) is NOT normal or standard. Finding blood flecks in your childs diaper for 3 months and trying to figure out what she is allergic to by altering your diet is NOT normal or standard.

And so, we are leaving Matilda. To catch up on us. Catch-up on the us we were before we were parents. Sleep. Eat. Work-out. Adventure.

Does this make us bad parents? To some, perhaps. But I know in my heart, I will enjoy my last 3 weeks of maternity SO much more after having time with Nate. And I know that Matilda will grow up much happier with happy parents.

And she is staying with the next best thing to us, so I know she will be in good hands (probably better than my own), and it will be great for her to get out of the moan and droan of life in Minneapolis with us.

So, we fly to Hawaii. And I am sure I fly to Hawaii with tears streaming down my face as I have yet to be away from this child for more than a few hours. And I KNOW I will miss her terribly. But I also know this is a good thing for me. For us. For our family.


Anonymous said...

Greta, you are a wonderful mom! It has not been easy for you BUT you have been doing a great job at it. Have a wonderful vacation with Nate... you both deserve it. I am confident Tillie will be getting lots of love while you are gone. It will be way harder on you (and Nate) than her... I promise. ENJOY!!


Anonymous said...

does skype do 3D???
Uncle Todd

Scorpicon said...

Have an awesome vacation, and enjoy the heck out of it!

Here's a funny little article about being new parents:

emily said...

proud of you. have fun in hawaii, both of you. your girl will be just fine.

Megan said...

I think you made the right decision. You need Adult time! have a great time and come back to your baby :)

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

You and Nate have a great time...Tillie slept 11 hours last night straight without a peep...o))))!!!! We aren't spoiling her or anything.....

TIME STAMPED 6:08 AM 10-15-11


Marna said...

As I promised, I did stop at your parents to check in on Matilda:) And she is doing fine. She was so sweet and huggable. Or maybe she was sweet and I was huggable? I could tell that she is teething and still she was so sweet. I was prepared for her to be bigger - but the camera not only adds pounds but also inches. She was not as tall as I thought she would be and her thighs are not nearly the size of yours at that age. I was surprised how light she was - I could have held her all day:) And I would have, but your Uncle made me leave:( Can't wait to see you all again soon.