Today was the day. The day I turned my sweet baby over to someone else.
Someone else to snuggle, and cuddle, and give her big smile to.
Someone else to feed her, sleep her, change her and comfort her.
And I have to say, it was tougher this time around than the last time.
Perhaps it was because Matilda came with me to General Mills daycare so I never 'left' her.
Or perhaps it is because I enjoyed *almost* every second of this maternity leave.
How could you not snuggling this one?
I wasn't ready to go back to the real world this time.
As I pulled onto Highway 100, I was longing to be walking the streets with my stroller.
As I was getting logged into my computer and settled into my desk, all I wanted to do was read Bea a book, put her down for a nap and fold some laundry. (seriously, what is happening to me?)
As I was sitting in a terribly dull room pumping, I wished to be home to nurse her, play with her and get some cooking done for dinner.
And then I pick her up, and while the teachers say she did amazing she didn't get hardly any sleep. And is 100% totally trashed. Crying like I've never heard her. In bed before she ever has been. What happened to my smiley, giggly, loves to hang out baby?
But I suppose that is the benefit to the second time around. I know this will get better. She will either figure out how to sleep better, or she will figure out how to be happier with less sleep. For all of our sakes, I hope it is the former. I feel a little more rational, on a topic that it is almost impossible to be rational about--my kids.
These little creatures that I adore with every fiber of my being. For every moment I spend at work, I spend 3 moments thinking of them. I will forever cherish the time I had at home. To be fully dedicated as a Mom. And I hope I can find a way to be patient, calm, and caring every day in the midst of being a working Mom.
Because all of the every days add up to a lifetime.