24 Hour Lessons

We have been in Branson soaking up the Christmas cheer for 24 hours, and already I have learned 5 crucial lessons.

1. Branson loves its Christmas Decorations

Everywhere you look, Christmas decorations abound. From the Snowman figurine in our hotel, which has a snowman carrying a bucket with two snowmen heads (very perplexing) to the glorious lighting display at Silver Dollar City...Branson is most likely identifiable from space during the holiday season.

2. Cost is relative.

I think I have it figured out. Branson authorities engage in price collusion during the tourist season, with hotels and the AMAZING dining locations (Ruby Tuesday, Olive Garden, and Red Lobster...oh my!), so that people THINK it is an affordably family vacation and then they JACK up the prices of the attractions which is the reason you come in the first place. And to make it worse, you can find NO prices online so you think everything is free.

Exhibit A: Silver Dollar City. A place, that Katie and I admittedly thought was free. Upon entrance we find out it is $50 PER PERSON. So we pay, and go, because we just drove 11 hours for this. And quickly we feel better because there is promise of 12 shows!

Let's just say that our Fa-la-Follies show that we waiting in line for 1 hour to see was 'festive' with it's semi-questionable jokes. But in all honestly, it was just as I pictured Branson.

3. Andy Williams still has it.

People, this guy is 82. He has the voice of a song bird, and still has some pretty good dance moves (at least for an 82 year old). As I looked out over the audiences, into the seas of white hair and bald heads, I felt the Christmas spirit all around and was filled with the warm, happy, holiday feeling. If Andy is still around next year, you should all see him. He is Father Christmas afterall...

Look at these moves...you can see the speed...

4. Branson attractions hire very effective copywriters.

Enter the Trail of Lights, marketed by some genius as:

"The Trail includes millions of multi-colored Christmas lights. There are hundreds of gorgeous lighted displays as well as the animated scenes. As the grand finale to the journey, your ticket also includes a trip to Inspiration Tower where you can ride glass elevators up 230' for a Santa' s eye view of the lights from above. There are terrific holiday shopping and delicious goodies too - like plenty of hot chocolate!"

Reality:

• $10 per person gets you one luke-warm cup of apple cider at the END of the trail, which by the way you have to drive BACK to the beginning of the trail to get.
• The gorgeous CHRISTMAS (?)  lighting displays include beauties such as the ever-classic:

5. Everything is more fun in ugly Christmas sweaters

Period. You just don't feel quite as spirited if your clothing isn't donned with appliques, beads, bows and bells. However, when in Branson, a critical thing to know is most everyone is actually wearing one of these sweaters, so one must be extremely careful when making fun of Christmas sweaters.

Here we are re-enacting a bright Christmas morning. You'll notice the girls version is much more appropriate.

We have another 24 hours here, so I can only imagine what we will learn today. Stay tuned....